Из баптистской брошюры "Обуздай мастурбацию!"

Hello everyone, sorry if I haven't posted in a while. Busy with home and church life (signed up to be organizer of our church's women's Bible study). Anyways, I have two sons, one just turned 5 and the other is 2. They're good kids but can get in each other's hair. So, I thought maybe getting a pet for them would give them some companionship and play. I don't want a cat because they're occultish and sinister. I know witches and pagans have cats for pets. I would get a dog but my husband is deathly allergic to them so we can't have them in the house.

 

So, what about adopting a negro baby as a pet? I know someone who knows some people who can get me a relatively healthy niglet for under $300. But, I've never been around many negroes (even though there's quite a bit here in Texas, they stay to their side of town). But, I have some questions.

 

 

• Are they difficult to housebreak? I've heard their intelligence is between that of a dog and a chimp, and I've housebroke dogs when I was little, so it shouldn't be difficult, right?
  

• How can you discipline them? I do not want some unruly ape pooping in the kitchen sink and breaking dishes and sassing off and throwing gang signs when company is over. I want one that's quiet, obedient, and smiles alot. Like Uncle Remus from Song of the South (the ONLY good movie Disney ever made).
  

• Are they expensive to care for? Food shouldn't be an issue. A neighbor of mine grows his own watermelon so I could get that for free actually. But, can I save money on medical costs by taking the niglet to a vet? I don't want to waste my HMO on a pet!
  

Finally, we're thinking of names. Hubby wants to name the niglet "Rex" or "Buster". Personally, I like the name "Mr. Bojangles". If anyone else has any names, I'd like to hear them!

 

YIC,

Jessica